End of another YEAR and DREAMS

Time passes by.. and in the blink of an eye another year passes by. Another nightmare of a year. All the aspirations at the start of the year and hopes and dreams built never saw daylight. They were squashed ruthlessly in the dark dingy twists and turns of life. Year never turned out the way i had wished for. End of it, after all the effort, i stand tall among the ruins.. exactly at the same spot where i started 365 days ago.. seriously WTF.. just a bit more broken and battered and a lot more war wounds n scars to show off.. a WAR WITH LIFE VETERAN.. and the trend seems to continue.. i will be WAR WITH LIFE VETERAN FOR LIFE! seems like my fate was written on a day when GOD had serious power outages.. and he was cursing too.. GOD DAMMIT!

A cold Christmas..and as distances between increase.. it gets colder and colder. Life has always been a serious of unfortunate events. And the best part.. i term my life to be QUICKSAND.. one moment i was on firm grounds with firm footings.. and the next moment one thing goes bad.. and another.. and another.. and another.. and before u know it everything around you starts crumbling and u sink deeper and deeper. The more you struggle to set it right.. the more deeper you sink.. QUICKSAND..

2009 was supposed to be a fresh start.. but it turned out otherwise.. and whatever little faith i had abt all the good things just took a U-turn. And i ran from Pillar to Post in Pursuit of the ever elusive Happiness.. only solace.. well i got the spelling right!

Looking forward to the coming year 2010.. and for the first time in 25 yrs i look forward to it without any hopes or dreams.. cos they are anyways gonna be crushed.. so y expect.. rather dont and be happy.. will atleast hurt less..

WISHING YOU ALL A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS AND A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR! may all ur dreams do come true.. have a wonderful year ahead

Late Goodbye

Its the TIME game and it always has been the case.. we are competing against time.. running against it.. every thing that is conceived on this planet has a shelf life and the moment it sees the light of the day it starts competing against TIME.. to last the longest..

Nothing better with human relationships... they too strive for TIME.. compete with TIME.. but the best part is they "grow with TIME".. and yet the worst part is.. they also "deteriorate with TIME" now how u nurture them is completely at your discretion.. :-)

Bidding goodbyes has never been my forte... just never learnt to bid the perfect goodbyes.. after all how can one completely forgo the memories spent with loved ones.. and walk away when the TIME comes without the attachment that you shared over the past few days coming back at you... shackling ur walking away feet... the harsh reality hitting you in the face that TIME wins again.. Leaving behind loved ones is the hardest thing one would have to ever come across in ones lifetime.. the moments that you shared and spent flash by.. the thought of leaving keeps gyrating in ur mind n soul... the thoughts as to when would you see them again... the uncertainty that looms large... the thoughts that there might not be a next time..the missing warmth and affection...missing the eyes filled with love... missing it all... the thoughts just don't stop.. and at that one moment your entire life comes to a stand still.. the world around you seems crumbling.. each passing moment signals in you the blackhole which keeps sucking in more darkness and in the process you loosing yourself and plunging head first deep inside the confines of loneliness. The only good thing that TIME left behind for you is the MEMORIES of a lifetime.. which give you both pain and happiness and finding happiness in pain is like that elusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.. atleast you have a colourful rainbow amidst those dark clouds... so i just sit back.. close my eyes and soak in the pitter patter of the raindrops (read pain).. and wait for the rainbow (read happy memories) to show up.. and when those memories keep flashing by.. i cheer up as the 7 colors of the rainbow fight out the dark clouds and light up every face with a smile. So long gone.. so far away.. yet so close.. yet so elusive.. yet so far away.. so long gone.... all giving rise to a whole new level of RESTLESS n TURMOIL... and yet i pseudo with the pseudo rest_IN_peace... :( the little (large) ironies of life..

Some wise ass rightfully said.. "Nothing has ever happened before the TIME it has to happen and nothing ever will happen before the TIME it has to happen... and when the right TIME comes, the thing that has to happen will always happen"

until next TIME.. i blog

-- rest_IN_peace --

Of Matches and Catches and Posts and Tracks and UNDERDOGS

Greetings,

Again, its been a while since i have touched base with my blog. Had some kind of a Bloggers Block! i pretty much dint know what i had to blog about... but i guess ITS OK :P.. IPL season is on.. F1 is on.. EPL and Champions League are reaching their final stages of completion... and everywhere the unthinkable is happening.

Ferrari, McLAREN, BMW and all the other big name teams and big name drivers have been handed their a$$ on a platter.. well decorated and laced with the sweetest of victories.. so convincing and so meticulous and clinical by the so called "UNDERDOGS" of F1 racing. Football has had no better season... a rollercoaster ride right thru the season with Chelsea leading the first few weeks of the season, only to be overtaken by Liverpool close to christmas and new year and then out of the blue Man Utd spring to life and stake claim on the coveted Premiership title. The Lion is roaring... proof enuff that English teams are a force to reckon with on the European Circuit.. 3 teams off the last 4 in the Champions league are English.. and the Spanish and Italian giants sunk without a trace. FA cup :) the Blues beat Arsenal while Everton phenomenally kicked some Man Utd a$$ to make it to the FINALS.. rest remains to be seen if the underdogs send yet another big name tumbling and bite dust in what is the oldest football tournament of the world... the FA CUP..
All said and done about the clouds of uncertainity looming large over the IPL take 2.. the managing committee must have thought that moving the tournament to SA, last minute rushes and arrangements apart.. they had beaten them all.. but but but... "CLOUDS" after all did have the last laugh.. hahaha... most of the games played under the cover of clouds.. some games washed off completely, couple of games played by the most infamous pair in world cricket --> DUCKWORTH-LEWIS.. and to top it all the one thing that sets the tournament on fire.. THE CROWDS... sorry to say.. no offence meant.. my South African mates need to get more ALIVE and KICKING on the cricket ground.. for godssake.. make some NOISE fellas! its T20 not TEST CRICKET... coming to the teams... i can rip apart the best of teams in IPL for their ridiculous team selections! barring DECCAN i guess nobody.. n i mean noooobody.. got their 11 right.. One of the biggest reasons for IPL this year to be damp squib would be pitches.. No.. no.. no.. nothing wrong with them.. but our local chaps.. ones who have not played a single first class game.. or seen foreign turf.. are finding it hard coming to terms with the fast and bouncy tracks of SA.. batsmen who would otherwise run a chill down the bowlers spine -->had it been the flat batting pitches of the sub-continent are falling cheap victims to a bowler of any reputation... only batsmen to have excelled were the grand old men of cricket :)) players with exp...all said and done.. its the cricket we love.. and then the classic underdog tale.. DECCAN dint do any wonders with their team.. it was more or less the same team which finished at the bottom of the table, IPL SEASON 1... this season.. they have revived and have risen as the mythical PHOENIX from the ashes of their debacle of the last season.. as of now unbeaten.. and after todays match.. Rajasthan Royals have sounded the trumpet loud n clear indicating that they are the defending champs and are alive and breathing fire.. MAN OF THE TOURNAMENT no doubt for me is Yousuf Pathan. Won 2 matches for his team single handedly and stands tall amidst all the big buck players (read Flintoff n Kevin P) who hardly troubled the scorers. More than the bowlers forcing the batsmen to give in their wicket, it was the stupid idea of a "strategic time-out" which claimed more victims due to a halt in the momentum.. come 10.x overs and expect a wicket.. haha..

With an exciting finish set for all the sporting events this and the coming month.. a sport lover couldn ask for more... wat is more heartening,exciting and point to take note of is that in all the sports mentioned above, the usual suspects to clinch the victory have been given a run for their money by the underdogs.. giving the good old sports lover memories to last a season.. so until next season err post.. WOOF WOOF :) underdog story.. (watts u would understand that ;)

rest_IN_peace

the GO GOA experience..

Greetings.. haven't blogged in a while.. have been away.. let me run u thru the turn of events.. some changed my thought process.. some defined my path for the future and some shook my very pillars of trust and a mere mortal existence... Was away on a vacation.. GO GOA!! and the trip churned out everything a bollywood pot boiler would throw at you.. exagerating.. but ITS OK!!

Day1: Sat Afteroon 11:00 am.. set foot on the Goan soil.. Panjim our first stop.. our next destination Calangute... though we knew what would be in store, we took up the challenge and enquired the rates to Taxi us to Calangute.. as ridiculous as the idea itself was, we got a quote of 700 bucks for a 15 km journey.. shrugged our shoulders in vain and walked towards the local bus station. The helpful locals directed us to the right bus and in no time we were in Calangute.. and any guesses wat the fares were??? well dont rack your brains.. it was 20 rupees.. :P ... got directions from Rak.. reached teh hotel.. showered changed... rushed to ZANZIBAR - THE BEACH SHACK.. ordered some hot n yumm prawn curry with rice.. Rak n I kickstarted the weekend and the vacation with Kings Beer :)).... the rest of the team arrived and we had a gala time at the beach.. That night the entire team partied at SunBurn Butters Goa.. DJ Nikhil Chinappa slapping out his worst.. and being a hardcore metal fan.. his music was just torchure to my ears... couldn take it any longer.. we left by 2:00 am and reached the Baga beach... found a shack open and ordered dinner at 3:00 am... yeah.. pretty cool aint it.. After having had all the restrictions and 11:00 pm crap in Blore city... Goa gave me an impression that i had teleported to another planet.. the place always swarmed with tourists... be it day or night.. nobody really slept until the wee hours of morning.. we ended day1 n 2 technically at 4:30 am..

DAY 2: Woke up around 10.. already time for breakfast.. showered changed.. sunblock.. shades and rushed down... breakfast at Infantaria... breakfast transformed into lunch literally as we actually arrived at the place well nearing 12:00 pm.. time when breakfast closes and lunch is ready. I had a detour after brunch as i had to pick up my buddyf from the airport.. 44 kms away.. but the thought of meeting this friend of mine after 2 months nullified signs of any fatigue or the daunting task of making the 44 kms all alone.. the meeting was good.. the return was smooth and we were on our way to Anjuna Beach by 5:00 pm.. were supposed to meet up with the rest of the gang.. once at Anjuna, circumstances forced us to see Vagator beach as well and by 7:45 pm we had to make the decision of riding towards Arambol beach.. 34 kms away from Vagator.. the ride was smooth.. the best part was when we were climbing the steep road and the hills to our sides appeared to be closing in on us.. finally reached Arambol.. another lovely beach.. time was abt 8:30 pm... met up with the entire group and after abt a respite of 30 mins.. we started the journey back.. 6 activas and 1 bullet.. it was a fun filled smooth ride back home... errr home is Baga for now.. that night we hit pub Mambos at abt 12 am :P
fun filled night again.. called it a night only around 5 am...

DAY3: Monday started the same way with breakfast at Infantaria... by then a group had already left towards the church and Fort Aguada.. we started around 12 again.. towards the Fort first.. and then headed towards the Candolim Beach for some adventure sports... the guys enjoyed waterskiing, parasailing, bumpy ride and banana ride.. fortunately i found some time to play football at the beach.. its a completely different feel to playball on the beach.. :) loads of fun.. we left the beach around 7 and headed to the hotel after a tiring day... it was our last evening in Goa... we decided to have dinner together.. Britos was the venue... some mouthwatering delicacies and soothing music.. final walk on the beach at around 1:00 am and then retired early for the night.. but the past 3 days flashed by and kept me up all night.. Rak had an early morning flight to catch.. she checkd out around 5.. saw her off and then hit the bed at 5:30am..
DAY4: woke up at 10... and was ready in a jiffy.. last few hours in goa... watts n i headed towards ZANZI... incidentally i ended my tyrst with Goa with the same prawn curry and rice i had on day1.. spent some nice moments with my buddy dearest while she got her tattoo etched... and finally at 2:30 it was time to bid goodbye to the sun sand beach and the babes.. :P.. flight at 5:00 pm... and landed in my city Bangalore.. with all the thoughts of the past 4 days lingering in my mind.. moments which had left an everlasting impression.. looking forward to another tryst with the sand... errr and i am sure the sands of time will never be able to erase the memories of the Goan sand... till my next...

--rest_IN_peace--

when its ALL OK!

hmmm.. lets talk about the OK syndrome.. defn: a point of time in everyones life when things happen around you.. and all u can do is stand there.. take a look and say.. ITS OK! hahhaa... ya.. all i can do is say ITS OK and laugh it off

you reach home to find all things in disarray.. ITS OK.. u have no place to sleep.. ITS OK.. you have a call to take at unearthly hours just cos its during the working hours of your US counterparts.. ITS OK.. you take the call from the rear seat of your car cos conditions at home are not conducive for work.. ITS OK.. you have dinner at 12 am.. ITS OK.. u finally find a corner to lie down and relax.. and then call someone near and dear.. and all u hear is the callertune reaching a crescendo and gradually fading.. ITS OK.. you finally decide to watch the latest episode of HEROES... your laptop runs out of battery back up.. and the plug point is nowhere around the place you decided to rest.. ITS OK.. you finally talk yourself to sleep around 4.. ITS OK.. not to mention the mosquitoes to give u company and ensure that you are deprieved of the privilege called sleep.. ITS OK.. you finally manage to strike a chord with the mosquitoes and uphold the thoeries of Darwin.. and close your eyes at 6 am.. the paperwala slams the news paper against the very window next to u.. ITS OK!! its the milkmans turn next.. though he doesnt slam anything against your window.. but the irritating typical horn used to alert everyone in the locality of his arrival ruins ur cat nap.. ITS OK.. then the final nail in the coffin.. the maid walks in.. armed with her state of the art weapon systems and the annoying promptness with which she starts her chores and ensures nobody rests while she is sweating it out.. ITS OK... you give up.. u jump out of the makeshift bed... and then step on the strategically spilt water by ur commanding officer.. THE MAID.. and before u realise.. your world is upside down.. worry not.. its jus that you slipped.. ITS OK.. u get up.. endure the pain.. pick up your toothbrush.. and voila.. there is no toothpaste... yahoooooooo.. yippeeee..... ITS OK.. no better way to end ur night and have a eventful morning.. you decide to reach work on time.. unforseen forces are thrown in to ensure that you do not make it.. and infact end up reaching office late by 2 hours.. ITS OK.. on the way i dont think i have to mention the traffic.. its been the epitome of all my posts till date.. so lets not mention TRAFFIC.. ITS OK!! before you leave home you try reaching your near and dear ones.. and you get a cold reception with no answers for having missed last nights call as well.. ITS OK.. people forget you.. ITS OK... forget your existence.. no matter wat you do and how u care and show concern.. ITS OK!! then u finally reach office.. realise that your phone is running out of battery charge.. in the melee last night and morning you forget to recharge your phone.. ITS OK.. you run into the HR director directing vague pointless and stupid questions at you.. and to top it u go ahead and answer it (like you had a choice) ITS OK!! you have deadlines to meet and with the current ITS OK situation all u can do is surpass the deadlines and say ITS OK!! after all is that not what has been thrown at you at every turn, nook and corner of life.. ITS OK.. end of it all, all you can say is ITS OK..

ITS OK.. atleast you are looking at all the not so pleasant things thrown at you and say ITS OK.. it could have been worse.. LOL.... you are looking at the positive side of life.. ITS OK!! it has happened now.. will not happen again.. ITS OK!! lets get on with it.. you break up with the one person who matters the most to you at one point of time .. yet you move on saying ITS OK.. and then you go ahead do the same mistake and yet again say ITS OK!! you see the person u love the most now in pain and unhappy times.. yet you dont muster the courage to hold the persons hand and say not to worry.. i am here for you and I LOVE YOU.. and you standby..let the person you love walk into the arms of the wrong person.. and say ITS OK!! again hoping things workout in the best interests of you and that person.. ITS OK!! you let someone else take the credit and recognition of your hard work and hog the limelight and laurels.. ITS OK.. you leave behind all your loved ones in pursuit of that elusive dream and happiness (witch in disguise) and then realise the decisions taken by you were rubbish and utter thrash of the nth order.. ITS OK..

this never ending pursuit of things elusive and failing to see what is in front of us and then hanging on to the 2 golden words. ITS OK.... y in first place do we not want to see wat lies in front of us and rather want to see what never existed.. and probably will never exist.. cos life has given it to u already and its for u to realise and stop this mad chase.. but i guess 99/100 times you will miss it... ITS OK

so involved in this ITS OK post that i missed my meeting by 5 minutes.. but i guess like always.. ITS OK!!

--rest_IN_peace --

Another Day passes by

Well well well... its a Friday.. and here i am... to rock you like a hurricane.. :P

traffic traffic and traffic ... i dont thing i will ever stop mentioning traffic in all my blogs :(
still sitting in office just to beat the traffic.. its 8:30 pm.. and sadly i have nothing to do this evening.

Might watch the latest episodes of HEROES :)) and LOST.. the new seasons have been good and certainly have kept me on the edge of my seat.. that much for a Friday night.. still remember last friday... i went bonkers in Purple Haze... it was good fun.. DJ was belting out my favourite tracks and i was headbanging to the max... singing along (or shouting i must say) until my vocal cords cried stop! then a late dinner at Empire.. how much i yearn to relive the same friday :(
duh pah these meetings.. and terrific traffic... psssst excited abt the Goa trip 2 weeks from now.. already excited.. will meet my entire team from hyderabad... the BUNCH 'O' DEVILS... tickets booked.. accomodation set... and for now just waiting to hit 20th of FEB... yaaaaaaaaaawn.. Will head home now... i guess a better part of traffic has passed by and i should have some empty streets ahead.. till next time.. next talk will be V day and the threats various organisations are throwing... something ridiculous like " We will carry rakhis and mangalsutras along.. and we will catch hold of couples.. if willing we will get them married.. if not we will give them rakhis!"

WTF... MIND UR OWN BUSINESS.. JOBLESS BOOZOOS... WHO GAVE U RIGHTS TO DECIDE OUR LIVES??
stay tuned... more to come...

-- rest_IN_peace --

With or Without You

With or Without u -U2 .. well one things for sure i am a music geek.. i love my music and i relate myself to different genres as per my mood swings. Being a typical GEMINI, i cant help the extreme swings.. See the stone set in your eyes See the thorn twist in your side I wait for you Sleight of hand and twist of fate On a bed of nails she makes me wait And I wait without you With or without you With or without you..



most of my posts would revolve around songs i listen to and the memories that they bring along and the things that i miss the most.. and the thoughts they invoke at that particular instance.. complicated is thy second name.. as the song plays in the background and i write this post sitting in my solitary confinement chamber (my cubicle) it brings to my mind the times gone by... times when things were unchanged and trust me.. unchanged for the better.. And everything I can't remember As fucked up as it all may seem, the consequences that I've rendered and times when I've stretched myself beyond my means.. hahhaaha... and the consequeces arising cos of the consequences i had rendered... aaarghhhh.... trying to find a way out.. for the tormented soul inside me (this doesnt mean RIP lol).. trying to find a vent.. to let go of all the anger inside me.. trying to find a forum.. to let put across my thoughts.. and trying to find myself i all of this.. till next post



--rest_IN_peace --

Where am i heading?

My first post.. :) finally thought will start blogging.. blogging bug bit me in 2006.. but the spark somehow died out before i could give more flame to it...

yaaaawn.. early day at work.. left home at 8.. thought would beat the sad mad bad traffic of bengaluru city.. but the roll of the dice backfired.. caught in a jam near btm lyt 16th main.. aarghh... when do i actually leave home then.. at 6 am? sulked my way thru the traffic.. and then comes the jam at silk board..work hours couldnt have started better than this can they?

i shall skip the gory details.. managed to reach office by 9:15.. not much work.. so the thought crosssed my mind to start wat i had left long back.. BLOGGING.. yuhuuuuuuu.... and here i am..

Song playing: MIA -Paper Planes.. aaa nice melody to be stuck with in the early hours.. and the dark hours.. hahaha..

So any surprises at work??..hell yes.. one of my very good friend Shoumik the De.. is quittitng.. and 6th is his last day in office.. sad.. but ok.. move on bro... ALL THE BEST..

and yeah day started off with my best best best bestest buddy calling at 6:45 am.. Wattuu.. she was all excited and happy.. her guy dropped in town this morning after a year long sail and being away on the high seas.. (Merchant Navy) and wat better way to jump out of bed to hear ur dear ones all excited and happy...

thats all for my first post.. more coming ur way.. and yeah thanks to Raji :) (http://raji22494.blogspot.com/ ) sorta infused the thought to start blogging again...

--rest_IN_peace-- (contradictory blogging name.. i surely aint at peace inside) LOL